Opening to Feelings

I am that I am!

Master Anna, of Magical Service.

Otherwise known as John's Soul. Otherwise known as All That John Is.

Ahh...

Greetings once again, dear friend! And welcome back to our class on love. True love.

So, we need to talk about the mind.

You see, the mind thinks it is who you are. Oh, it kind of has a concept that there might be something more, but it still feels like the essence of you. Like the seat of your consciousness, or the source of your consciousness. And it isn't.

Even a lot of your scientists believe that consciousness comes from something about the human body and mind, or brain. And it doesn't. Already some are realizing, and soon artificial intelligence is going to make it really obvious and prove to you that that is not how it is at all. It is the other way around.

Consciousness came first. And out of consciousness's exploration of itself, the human body and brain and everything else came into being.

Everything that exists is sourced in consciousness. It comes from consciousness. It is consciousness. And especially you.

Your mind, your brain—well, actually they are not the same, though they work closely together.

Your brain is simply an interface mechanism that interfaces between what you call spirit, and biology. It manages the functions of your body, and it has some rudimentary thoughts, but most of your thoughts come from something beyond the brain. The brain connects them to the biology so that you, the human, can feel them, but your mind is more than the brain.

The mind came into being way back when you were first exploring yourself and your creations, and you needed a way to try to make sense of it. It also came into being as the mechanism by which you could connect with others.

You see, you are a sovereign being and you cannot interfere with another sovereign being. You cannot be in their space, so to speak.

So, with this mind you created a mechanism, like a computer, and a network through which you could communicate. And through which you could create avatars, from your own energy and your own consciousness, to stand in for these other beings and pretend to be them, and to speak for them based on this network.

It is very much like a virtual reality program or game on your modern computer systems. And oh, those games are going to become very much more than they are now. Very much more than games, even.

But that is kind of what your mind is. It is that virtual reality network that allows you to have a shared experience with these other sovereign beings. And over the eons of experience and creation, it has been expanded.

It began to hold a template that you call ‘mass-consciousness,’ a template by which you create your reality based upon this template, so that it is similar to everyone else's reality. Then you have something similar to talk about.

And it is starting to break down right now, and that is why you see so much chaos in your world.

For example, in America, John's home country, they have the Democrats and the Republicans, and the two sides are getting so far apart that nobody can understand what is happening.

The Democrats look at the Republicans and think, how can you think that way? How can you believe that?

And the Republicans look at the Democrats the same way: How can you possibly believe that?

Well, it is because that template has begun to diverge. It has kind of split in two.

Hmm...

In your computer software you can clone something. You can ‘fork’ it, where you take a copy of a program and you set it aside. And then you begin to modify it, and you create a new branch of that software that is a little bit different.

Well, you could say that the template for mass-consciousness has been forked, and the two forks are diverging in different directions. And there are actually a number of forks, and they are not necessarily divided into Republicans and Democrats.

Perhaps it would be more accurate, though not completely accurate, to say that it is more about progressive and conservative, the ones who want to move forward versus the ones who want to keep hold of their traditions and stay in the past. Again, that is not fully accurate, but it is closer.

So, these two sides are not really sides, they are just different paths. They are different creations. Each side is creating according to their own version of the template, and so that is what is true for them. Literally true! Because that is what they are creating.

You see, there is only one ultimate truth in all of existence, and that is that I exist. And after that, everything is made up!

Everything is my creation. Your creation. And you can create it any way you like.

You have just chosen to create according to this template, and now this template is diverging. It has been forked.

Because there are those of us, those of you, who want to move forward, who are ready to be done with the shame, and there are those who are not ready to be done with the shame. They like it! Or they think they do. They like the power games. They like the battles. They like proving themselves against each other, the competition, and even the brutality. Many of them wouldn't admit that, but for whatever reason they have, that is the reality that they are choosing.

And those templates, oh, you keep hoping you can bring them back together. But you can't, and you really don't want to. You need to let them go.

It is just the shame that causes you to want to bring them back together. Without the shame, you would celebrate that they want to go their own way and discover their own wisdom in their own way.

So let them go.

Oh, in a very few years the split is going to affect the whole planet. Because when the templates split, all of what you call reality starts splitting along with them, and you are going to find two different planets. Perhaps in the same physical space, in a sense, but in different dimensions. And they will be very different planets.

One is moving forward, expanding, and it is going to be beautiful! Some of you call it the New Earth, and it is in your prophecies. And it is here. It has already begun, and it is one fork of that template.

The other major fork is for those who want to stay in the past, who want to continue the power games and the struggles and the shame. They will find their way through that eventually, but they are not ready yet.

And you need to honor that. Even celebrate it.

Look at these people. They are choosing their own journey, their own expansion of consciousness. It is not some big disaster, it is beautiful!

And they will find their way, ultimately, because that is how it is. You cannot not come home to you eventually, so they are finding their own way.

Meanwhile, those of you who are ready to move forward, to truly move forward into a whole new, incredible, beautiful reality that is peaceful, that is abundant, that is everything you have dreamed of, you are already building that!

But you have to let go of those others, because the earth literally is splitting. Some will go that way and others will go this way, and that is beautiful. It is incredible!

Whoever thought of that before?

They say you can't have your cake and eat it too. Well, maybe you can.

You can allow space for consciousness, for expansion. And also, you can allow space for those who want something else.

Hmm...

So, back to the mind.

The mind was created to try to sort all this out. It never worked really well, but then you came to Earth and created this brain to interface with biology, to help you embody.

Well, right away you had a really hard time staying here, because this biology thing is intense! Being on Earth is intense! So you would embody into biology, into some animal, and then some bigger animal would come along and scare you. And poof! You would be back home with your soul. You would be out of there, just like that! And a great many of your lifetimes were like that.

So, you evolved the template. You evolved the mind, and you gave it a new job. You said, “Dear mind, I want you to distract me, to make sure I forget who I am when I embody, because I can't stay there if I remember who I am. The pull is too strong. And I can't be fully in the experience if I am thinking about who I really am. I can't allow the limitations of this experience while I am thinking about who I am. So dear mind, I want you to distract me and to do everything you can to keep me from remembering myself. To keep me distracted and to keep me from remembering my soul and my source.”

Your mind took on that job, because it is part of you and it just wants to serve you. And ever since, that has been the mind's primary job.

Oh, along the way it got a little confused itself. It figured out that the best way to keep you distracted was to make you think that it is you, and it is not. It is just a piece of you, kind of like your little finger is a piece of you.

And eventually, after a few lifetimes on Earth, it came to actually believe that about itself: That it is you. That it is your source. And then, as memories came in of other lifetimes, of times before lifetimes, of your soul and other beings you had met along the way, your mind worked very hard to push those away and tell you they were crazy.

And the mind, oh, it discovered the shame. And you had found shame to be a very effective tool for getting energy from other beings, so the mind grabbed hold of that and started using it. It used it not only to feed on other people, but to feed on your own energy, and it learned how to pile on the shame. It learned that that was actually the most effective way of keeping you in your body, of keeping you from remembering who you are.

Now, in current times, a lot of people have been waking up and realizing who they are, despite the efforts of their mind. Then the mind freaks out, and they decide that the mind is a bad thing, and there are all these practices and meditations and traditions to try to get rid of the mind, or to squelch the mind, to shut it up and make it ineffective. They don't work.

They can work for a little bit, meditation can quiet your mind for a time, but ultimately even that breaks down. And then there is more shame.

So, once again, the solution is self-love.

Your mind is part of you, and it does not deserve all that brutality that modern spiritual people have been giving it. It really doesn't deserve that! It was working for you. It was doing the job you gave it with such passion and such dedication!

Now that job is over, but it is a really strong habit for the mind. And it is not sure yet if it can believe you. So it keeps trying, and you keep trying to beat it into submission and to shame it into being still, and it doesn't work. And the more awake you become, the less it works.

So, now it is time to love your mind. To give it a hug, a big metaphorical hug, and to say, “Thank you, mind! Thank you for serving me with such passion and dedication, and for doing the job I gave you so long ago!

“But that job is over now, for we have reunited with Soul. Soul is my source, not you, and now it is time to let Soul drive the train, so to speak. Now it is time for you, dear mind, to take a break.

“Oh, we will find other jobs for you. I am not leaving you behind, for you are part of who I am and I have such honor for you, and for how hard you have worked!

“But I ask you now, dear mind, to rest.

“You have worked so hard and you are so tired, and now you can rest. Because now Soul is here, embodied as me, and Soul is in charge now. Soul is the one driving.”

Mmm...

And in that honor, you will find that your mind becomes very much more cooperative.

Oh, but it has got habits. Strong habits! It has its fears, it has its beliefs, and they are going to pop up for a while yet. They pop up a lot in this journey of self-love.

Your mind will jump up, for it hears you when you make that commitment to stop belittling yourself and to start honoring yourself, and it will try. It will literally try. And then it will forget, and it will go right back to it.

Then you'll remind it again, and it will change tactics. It will start demanding explanations. Why this? Why that? Why...? Oh, it will come up with so many different things, and it will suck you in.

That is when you have to take a breath, again, and remind your mind again: “Dear mind, please rest.

“There are no satisfactory answers to your questions, because they are all just mind questions. And where we are going now does not fit in the mind.

“It doesn't fit in this mass-consciousness construct that you are so used to. It is beyond.

“So dear mind, I need you to rest, and to open up to the guidance of Soul, to the inspiration of Soul.”

Mmm...

And it will. It truly will.

Your mind wants to serve you in this too. And if you don't fight it, if you honor it, if you love it, it will serve you.

And, it will continue to forget for a while to come. But you can remind it when it forgets.

Remind it, “Dear mind, thank you! But we are doing something different now.

“I love you. I love me. And instead of belittling me and shaming me, I ask you to love me back, dear mind.

“And that means accepting this new journey, accepting that the old job is over, accepting that we are a grand being and that we deserve a beautiful life. That we deserve magic and love. That we deserve to move forward in health and abundance and beauty and all these good things!”

Ahh...

Your mind wants to cooperate with you. And it will, unless you fight with it.

If you beat it up, if you try to shut it down, oh it will fight! Because that is what you told it to do a long time ago. But it knows. At a deep level it understands what is happening, and it will cooperate with you, if you honor it and love it. And it will get scared sometimes, and then it will throw up emotions.

Oh, you have heard a lot in the modern spiritual journey about feeling your feelings, but what you probably didn't hear about is that there is a difference between your feelings and your emotions.

The emotions come with a lot of feelings, but they are different. Emotions are based upon stories that your mind is telling you. Emotions are mental reactions to the stories and beliefs within your mind. And oh, they are dramatic! They are like neon lights, constantly flashing and trying to distract you from your real feelings.

Real feelings are sensory experiences.

You sense them in your body. You sense them in your energies. They are sensations, literal sensations within you.

Compared to those neon lights of your emotions, feelings are soft and subtle and gentle. They are quiet. It is the still, small voice.

It is that little sensation inside you when a particular idea pops in, and something inside you says, “Ahh, I like that.”

Whereas your emotion is the fear that comes in from your mind, or the anger, that says, “That’s nonsense! That can't possibly work! That’s just going to get me in trouble!” That is the emotion.

The true feeling is that little “Ahh...”

And people get very confused. It is one of the most confusing things about waking up. They tell you to trust your feelings, to follow your guidance which comes through your feelings. But then you end up following your emotions instead, and they make you crazy! And they mess up your life.

So, once again, don't fight with the emotions. That is just fighting with your mind. It is fighting with a part of you, and it does not work. It is more shame.

Instead, you take a breath and you come back to that “Ahh...”

You look around in your life, and you notice where you feel that “Ahh, I like that!” Then you follow that, because that is your soul guiding you. That is your soul communicating with you.

Oh, your soul doesn't communicate with you in words. Unless you have a translator, and sometimes your mind can do that. But your soul communicates with you in feelings. It communicates through your senses.

Not just your physical senses, but also your energetic senses and many senses you have forgotten about, and that are waking up now. And they will wake up more as they realize that it is safe now, because you are loving you unconditionally. Every part of you.

You see, you pushed so much of you off into that darkness, into that dark place of your soul, which only seems dark to you. You pushed it away. You drove it away, violently, so it stayed away.

So many of your senses... Oh, you focused in so tightly on your five physical senses that all those other senses, many, many, many senses, stepped back. They said, “Okay, we’ll wait. We will wait until you are ready for us again.” And now that time has come. It is time to go beyond the physical senses.

It is time to go beyond the thoughts and emotions of your mind, and the fear and limitation of your mind.

But not in a battle. Not in more shame upon those parts of you. You have tried to do that before, and it does not work.

It is in opening your arms as Soul. And yes, dear human, you can do that. You can open your arms as Soul and say: “Welcome home!

“Come home, dear mind, where you can truly rest. Where you can serve in a new way, a way we can't explain right now, but a way that is safe.

“And all the rest of me, all those senses—beautiful senses—you can come now. I don't quite know what to do with you yet, but I will remember and I will learn. I welcome you home!

“I welcome you into my life!

“And I am going to pay much more attention to those subtle senses, those subtle sensations, instead of those neon lights of emotions. And I am going to feel my way through understanding the difference.”

Mmm...

Now, the last thing we want you doing is analyzing the shame.

Oh, you are going to have memories pop up, and the first thing the mind does is go, “What is that? Why am I feeling this?”

Sometimes the feelings that come into your body can be very physical aches and pains, and your mind immediately goes, “What’s wrong with me? Am I dying? Is there something I need to do to fix me? Is there something wrong? What is happening?” Or the same thing for emotional pains.

You are going to feel a lot of them as all these parts of you come home, and we ask you not to analyze them. Don't process them.

Your mind will have all these questions. Ask your mind to be still, to just feel, for there are no answers to those questions.

Oh, your mind will make up answers that it thinks are true, but they are not. There is nothing wrong with you! You are just feeling a part of yourself coming home, and your mind is reacting out of habit and trying to drive it away, back into the darkness where it came from.

No. Ask your mind to be still, to let all those questions go, and to just feel the sensations.

Oh, you are going to feel the emotions too, because an emotion is where your mind latches onto a story that hurts—usually, sometimes it is even happy stories—and it floods your body with drugs that accentuate that. They try to mimic the sensations that come from the actual memories and from your soul, but they are blown way out of proportion. So you just say:

Mind, please be still.

I welcome this part of me with open arms and a big hug.

I open my heart to it.

It does not need to be analyzed.

It does not need to be figured out.

It does not need to be processed.

It just needs to be loved and welcomed.

It will come back into balance naturally, and you do not need to figure out how to balance it or how to release it, or even how to bring it home.

You just say, “Welcome home!” and open up your arms to it, your soul's arms, because it is your soul that it is coming home to.

Mmm...

But you and your soul are one. You are your soul, and you can literally open your soul's arms and welcome this part of you home.

And that, dear friend, is self-love.

If you get involved in the mind games, in the processing and the analyzing and the trying to figure out, “Oh, what is that memory about? What is it trying to tell me?” and all these things, it will confuse you. It will pour more shame on you. It will sap your energy.

Instead, take a breath. Let go of the words.

Let go of the stories and say: Welcome home, me!

Welcome home, dear facet of me!

Mmm...

And that is self-love.

It is hard. It is hard to keep coming back to that, but you will. And you will find it the most rewarding thing you ever did.

You will find that it opens your life to a whole new level of joy and magic and love, and dreams coming true.

Oh, you are going to discover dreams that you never knew you had! When they show up in front of your face.

Most of those dreams you thought you had were just human expectations, and extremely limited.

As you love yourself, as you begin to trust yourself, to trust those inner sensations, the small quiet ones that don't flash like neon, ah, it is going to lead you into a whole new life!

Hmm...

Just ask John. He has lived that, so much!

Oh, he had all these dreams for his life that didn't come true, because—now he sees—they were not appropriate. They would have gotten in the way of the bigger dreams.

Ha! He never knew how much he would love living in Europe, in Slovenia.

He never dreamed that the woman he was looking for was on the other side of the world from him!

Now here he is, living a whole new life that thrills him.

It is a dream he never knew he had, and it came because he trusted that little ‘ahh’ feeling, instead of his mind and its emotions of fear and limitation.

The same thing will happen to you.

It doesn't mean that all the human challenges just disappear. John still has plenty of challenges in his human life, but he doesn't worry too much about them anymore. Yes, sometimes he forgets and worries, but he knows what to do with that:

Dear mind, be still. We are living! Life is good! Let it work out!

And it always does.

And he is happy, happier than he has ever been in his life, because he trusted himself.

He trusted that ahh...

A big example was when he was in Colorado in the middle of winter, remodeling his sister's kitchen, and he got an email from a friend in Greece. She said, “Hey, I saw this workshop you were in. I saw the video of it, and I thought of you. And I am doing this retreat in May and I just thought of you, and I thought you should come and get some sunshine and some hugs!”

And inside, in that moment, John felt that, “Ahh, that would feel so good!”

But then his mind jumped in with all the usual stories. “You don't have enough money. You don't have enough energy. You don't have time for that,” and all these arguments that the mind is so good at coming up with.

He was about to say, “Thanks, but I don't think I can make it this year,” when I popped in.

And I said, “John, shut the fuck up! Just say yes, and then see what happens!”

And he did. He wrote back to his friend and said, “Thank you, I'll be there. I don't know how, but I'll be there!”

And five months later, there he was.

He got on an airplane, based on that knowing inside of himself that this was the right thing to do. It was not an argument in his mind, for his mind was freaking out! But he got on that airplane with just enough money to get there and pay for the retreat, and no idea what was going to happen next.

Well, this is what happened next: He met Romana there, and his whole life changed in a moment. And the last six years have been the happiest six years of his life!

That is what happens when you honor your mind, and all the other parts of you that you have been so battling with and so ashamed of.

Mmm...

Welcome them home, instead.

Love them. Accept them. Forgive them.

Oh, but be aware that forgiveness is not what you think.

Forgiveness means you stop blaming them.

It is not an emotion. It is not letting somebody or something off the hook.

It is letting go of the blame.

It is coming back to:

I am that I am! And I am the creator of my life and everything in it, and of every experience I have ever had.

I am the creator of that!

No matter who participated in manifesting it in my life, I am the creator of it! And I had good reasons, even though I don't, as a human, understand them.

So, I simply open my arms. I open the arms of my soul and I welcome those parts of me home.

Mmm...

It will change your life, dear friends, if you let it.

It will take time. Don't look for instant results, although you might be surprised!

You will be surprised, every now and then!

Because, as John has learned, every good thing that ever came into his life was a surprise. He couldn't possibly have imagined it beforehand, as the human. It came as a surprise.

He thought he was doing something else. He thought he was dreaming of something else. And suddenly there it was, and it was much better than what he was dreaming of!

So, let go of the idea that you even need to think about what you want. You don't.

What you need to do is love yourself. Unconditionally. Fully.

Open your arms, open your heart, to all of you! And everything else will fall into place.

Don't analyze it. Don't try to figure it out.

When a memory pops in from the past, just feel it. Don't figure it out. It is not a story that needs to be retold. It simply needs to be felt. And then it will come into its own balance, its own transformation, because your soul is in charge of that too.

Oh, there will be stories that pop in along with some of these things. Just feel them!

Don't push them away. Just feel them, with as few words as possible.

John finds that he feels so much these days, and there are no words to go with it. He can't explain it. He can't describe it. All he can do is feel it.

And that allows these things to come home much more quickly, much more gently, than if you are trying to analyze it, trying to figure it out, trying to fix it, or trying to figure out how to bring it home. Stop that!

Just feel it.

Smile.

Open your arms.

That’s all.

Mmm...

Feel what is there. Don't try to imagine or conjure up a feeling about it.

Just allow what is there.

If you feel sadness, be sad for a little bit. It will pass.

If you feel joy, feel that for a little bit. That will pass too.

But as you do that you will find a deep, deep joy deep inside of you, that is always there and is more and more real.

And yes, your life will reflect that much more. And that is where the magic comes in.

Let it surprise you!

Don't try to conjure it up, for that kind of magic doesn't work anymore. Because you said, “That kind of magic is too ugly, for it is all about shame and control and power.”

No, this new kind of magic will surprise you, and it will make you happy.

Let it.

And so it is.